Its certainly true that some people have wallpapered their comfort zone with confidence, while for others its something that seems completely out of reach. But its not an impossible feat to accomplish, and can in fact be an advantageous mindset if executed with an optimistic view of life.
And it doesnt mean having a very positive attitude towards life and towards your problems. This would be an attitude of complacency, and would prevent you from facing up to what you really need to do. Or from seeing things in a positive way would be to not be honest with yourself. But an optimistic outlook on life will enable you to see things as they are, and as they truly are.
So my quest was to enhance my outlook by building my self-confidence. And you can do the same by building your self-confidence, by treating yourself with respect and consideration. And by learning to deal with your problems and adversity with the wisdom you need.
And likewise you know who you are. If you havent learned to respect yourself by treating yourself with respect then you cant respect others. To respect others is to treat others with respect and honesty. And when you develop that attitude then you wont need to have a wall of complacence around yourself. But its not something you can do overnight.
So that being said its time to learn how to build a wall around yourself to protect you from all those things which may come your way. A wall is like a shield to protect you from harm, but more importantly it is like a weapon to defend you from your fears. And it is a shield for the harm that you are unable to conquer, it is a shield to protect you from those things that are unable to harm you, it is a shield to protect you from being hurt, but more importantly it is a shield to protect you from the self-doubt that comes to you.
The negative self-talk that comes to you at night when youre lying in your bed. The negative self-talk that comes when youre driving and it ever again when you think of someone that wants a relationship with you. This kind of negative self-talk is painful, and needless to say that is exactly why people do not resist it. They dont want to deal with the pain they are feeling.
The problem is that it comes from a mind that is not willing to deal with anything, from anything. And the pain that it brings isnt worth the struggle that it causes. So the question is not how to resist negative self-talk, the question is how to increase your self-confidence to resist negative self-talk?
There is no way to increase your self-confidence if you are not able to see yourself the way that you are. You need to become comfortable with your self, by being able to see yourself as the greatest person that you are.
That being said if you are having trouble with your self-confidence, the first thing that you should do is look at yourself in the mirror and look at your hair, your eyes and your skin. Do these things make you feel more confident? If so then do whatever it takes to make yourself feel good about yourself. Your confidence will grow as the confidence of your self-image grows.
Try to spend less time thinking about what other people think about you and more time thinking about yourself and your interests. It’s easier to motivate yourself when you are actually interested in what you are doing.
The next thing that you should do is to find your calling. If you find your calling, then you know that you are not wasting your time worrying about what other people think of you. The key thing is to look out for signs that you may be called upon to serve others. If there are signs that you may be called upon to serve others then you should take them in consideration, so that you are prepared. For example, if someone are calling upon you to give a speech, then you should be doing research on how to give a speech so that you are not caught off guard. This is not a time to be selfish. Your calling may be a public speaking career, or it may be a non-profit work that you are called to do. It is not a time to worry about what other people think of you.
The last thing that you should do is to focus on your own strengths and weaknesses. In other words, recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Most often we tend to focus on other people’s strengths and weakness, but it is actually your strengths and weaknesses that are important. It is also your weaknesses that make you interesting and special. If you focus on other people’s strengths and weakness, then you are missing out on your own strengths and weakness. This may sound weird, but it’s true.
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” (Ibid., p.7 Ibid., p.8
“We must all remember that while we have a share in the glorious accomplishments of mankind, we are not at the pleasure of mankind.” (Ibid., p.5)
In some cases, we are also called to act as mediator between two parties. Sometimes we are called to help families resolve their differences. Other times we may be called to help parties reconcile themselves to each other. We are called to deal with people when they have hurt feelings or we are called to help people decide whether they will change their minds or not.
All of these situations fall into the category of helping others. In this category belong jobs such as sales job, service job or management job. When we choose to accept these assignments, we are acting as mediator or arbitrator, and this is also helping others.
You may not be called to be in every relationship and so you have to be sure to find a role that suits you. In helping others, you are not trying to tell anyone what to do or to pick up or what to say. In fact, you have to understand that it is impossible to tell another person what to do. However, in helping others you cannot be afraid to be direct. This is because when you act directly, you can be sure to be understood and accepted by the person.
The same applies to helping parties to come to a decision. You have to be sure to keep emotions at bay and to be very open and honest with the decision. This way both parties can be heard and respected. There is no point in not letting the person know that the decision has been made and you are no longer representing them. There is no point in being ambiguous and confusing about the decision, because the person knows what they believe and what you believe. This is because it would be obvious.
So in all cases, it is always important to let the person know that you have made the decision and that you have been informed of its outcome. In this way, you are able to allow them to accept it and to respect their decision. You are giving them the opportunity to accept or decline your offer. But either way, both parties can be assured that the matter has been settled and it is now the person’s choice.
So in these situations, it is very important to be clear about the role you have been called to play and then act as mediator or arbitrator so that both parties can be given confidence that the matter has been dealt with and is now the other person’s choice.
Formalities aside, if a family member or friend refuses your offer to arbitrate their differences, you must accept their decision. But the message must clearly explain why you can no longer serve as mediator and what has been done about the matter.
And then, you must accept your role as the final decision maker. It may be with a firm handshake, but it is a true decision. If you accept it and let go, it will let go of itself and by letting go, it will let go of whatever it had held on to.
Will you accept step up as a magical commander of your behaviour?
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